tremorworks

October 4

Dear Samantha,

I had a dream about that man again last night.

I was walking down a tunnel, it looked sort of like a subway tunnel but there was no track, and one side was open, and there was a river running right alongside it.  There was graffiti all over the crumbling walls, and lots of dark shadows everywhere.  It was kind of creepy, but I kept walking.  Up ahead I saw something moving, but it was too far away to see so I kept walking. I soon found myself wishing I hadn’t.

There were more of those shadow monsters there in the tunnel, right where the opening overlooking the river closed off.  They were waiting for me I think, forming themselves into some kind of wall, a writhing, hissing wall of black shadows.  Their arms were stretching out for me, and their raspy whispers were calling to me.  I could here them this time, “Lucy, Lucy, Lucy,” they said.

I couldn’t help myself.  Even though I was terrified, for some reason I kept going toward them.  I say “going” instead of “walking” because I don’t think I was walking.  It seemed like they were just pulling me closer to them.  I couldn’t make a sound, I couldn’t look away, I couldn’t move or do anything other than approach them.

Then I heard a gunshot.  From behind me, there was a bang that echoed though the tunnel walls and made me jump.  I caught a flash of something in the wall of shadows, and one of them made that horrible screeching again.  I suddenly found myself able to move again, and I whirled around to see what had happened.

Walking toward me, in between the beams of light made by the dim sunlight streaming in the openings in the tunnel wall, was that man again.  It was still hard to make out, he was still in the shadows, but I tried to see what he looked like.  At first I saw flowing cloth, like a long trench coat caught in the wind.  It looked tattered and worn, as if it had been through a lot of fights. His hair seemed long too, and it was caught by the wind as well.  I had to squint to make him out, because he wore all black, and I couldn’t see the details very clearly.  It looked like his jacket had lots of buckles on it, holding it around his waist, and the sleeves were rolled up.  He was wearing black fingerless gloves, and long black boots with shiny metal toes.  As he stepped into the light my vision of him became much clearer.  He was tall, and reminded me of every handsome man I’ve ever seen.  He looked like a movie star or something.  His brown hair was about shoulder-length, and he wore a pair of oval sunglasses that completely obscured his eyes.  His face was almost expressionless, but his lips looked very determined.  Like I said, I couldn’t see his eyes. In his right hand, extended forward, was a gun.  A big gun.  I don’t really know what guns look like, I just know it was big.  In his other hand was a sword, a curved one like you see in those samurai movies.  It just sort of hung at his side, and it looked like it was glowing in the little bit of light that shone down on him.  “Get away from them,” he said to me.  His voice was very soothing, yet still commanding.  Just hearing him made me less scared.  He was so confident, so cool…

Then he spoke to the monsters.  “And you get away from her,” he said, his face still not changing.

I ran toward him, and he started shooting that gun again.  When he fired, it didn’t look like a gun firing though, it looked strange, I can’t really explain it.  Every time he pulled the trigger, it looked like something different happened.  And every time, I heard another shriek from the shadows. I kept on running, leaving all that was happening behind me.  I eventually couldn’t run any further and I collapsed to catch my breath.  I don’t know how he did it (well, OK, it was a dream) but the guy was soon walking up to me, as if I had only run a few yards.  His hands were in his pockets, and he strode calmly toward me.  His coat flapped in the wind, even though I couldn’t even feel the slightest breeze.  The ends were riddled with holes and tears and cuts, and seemed to trail off much farther than a trench coat should, like the coattail was ten feet long.

He stopped right in front of me and just looked down at me.  He didn’t smile, and I still couldn’t see his eyes.  He just stared down at me, but somehow I still felt comforted.  I looked up at him and smiled.

“We need to talk,” he said.

Then I woke up.

I actually yelled at my alarm clock for pulling me out of that dream.  I don’t know what he wanted to talk about, but I want to!  It drove me crazy all day at school.  I almost can’t wait to go to sleep and see if I dream about him again, so I can find out who he is and what he wants. I think I’ll read some more of this lucid dreaming book and maybe that will help.

Still missing all of you,
Lucy